sebenarnya dalam hidup ni banyak lagi benda yang kita boleh focus dari nak sibuk hal orang. why not just focus on diri sendiri dulu. life is too short utk kita fikir masalah orang. just focus on what truly matters in our life dah la. u can focus on your family, your study or your business, your health. eh banyak lah.. tapi kenapa masalah orang jugak yang kita nak focus? i just dont understand certain people ni. haih. macam mana nak maju kalau kita asyik sibuk hal orang but diri sendiri terabai? ok, just forget everything else and focus on what matters. 

You are so sweet and hot and handsome. 

I like many things about u.. 

your brains, your smile, your hair, your laugh, your laugh, your laugh…etc.

I like it when u’re nice to me and when u blush when u’re embarrassed.

I like our eye contact and little smiles, I like the bubble we create around ourselves separating us from the rest of the universe. 

I’m sorry because I like u, because u’re just going to be somebody I like and nothing more. 

You'll always be on my mind

Appear in my dreams

And stay in my heart. 

If u want other people to love u, u must love yourself first. why?

whether or not u want to believe this, if u dont love yourself, no one else can truly love u. certainly u can be in relationship and experiences varieties of emotions similar to love, but if u dont love yourself, if u dont respect yourself i can guarantee u that no one else can really, truly love and respect u either. apa pon kita mesti sayang diri kita dulu. 

In order to love ourselves, we must to accept ourselves dulu. we also must appreciate ourselves first. then baru boleh sayang, terima and hargai orang lain. It is okay if u want to change something from your life, your body, your attitude even your face sekali pon, but dont stop focusing on what's important to your life. 

We are all such unique and complex beings and often dont spend the time or energy looking at ourselves in a deep and in meaningful way. Kalau kita tengok and hayati betul2 diri kita, life kita, we can see we deserve more better than what we have now. Just focus and love ourselves first. 

Yeah as u can see the title. happiness is expensive. if u disagree, then by all means, give me all your money and go be happy with my life. haha! it sounds so materialistic ogy. haha. ok, some people mesti beranggapan happiness tu bukan datang dari kekayaan duit semata, but got a happy family, a good spouse, a nice friends also a happiness. But yeah i still believe that happiness is a function of money, good health. Are the poor happy? NO. even with a good friends, that money factor cannot be overlooked. Take for instance, u have friends but u want to go to a vacation together but the money factor isn't there, do u think u would be happy? HAHA pls dont deny it. cakap je la MONEY is HAPPINESS. yea its sounds so materialistic but it isssssss.. Tapi itu lah.. HAPPINESS cant buy, but MONEY can buy HAPPINESS. is it true? yes, it is. :p

I just realized that this life is a competition. Yeah.. u can see in our daily life, me as a student, everybody in class berlumba lumba nak pointer yg bagus. This is competition. Then, talking about status, partner even foods. Theres still a competition between us. We are all in a competition, although we prefer not to realise it. Most achievements are only notable relative to others. U got highest mark in test, u got a title Dr, u got more instagram likes than the average, well done! It's painful things to believe actually. But never fall for the collective delusion that theres no competition going on. If u deny the competition is exist, u are just losing. Everything in demand is on a competitive scale. And the best is only for the one who are willing to truly fight for it. Just think! 

Yesterday, today, tomorrow.

Make not much difference.

You walk.

You watch.

But you forget to feel.

Feel those moments.

That gotta be a memory.

When im gone.

Be thankful

for the hard times.

They are heaven

sent to teach u lessons,

make u stronger,

and ultimately lead u to

a better destiny.

There comes a time when u have to stop thinking about your mistakes and move on. No regrets in life, just lesson that show u the way. U cant let one bad moment spoil a bunch of good ones. Dont let the little silly dramas of each day get u down. U have to be strong. Jangan nak hati tisu sangat. Just smile... even when it feels like things are falling apart. Bcos sometimes smiling doesnt always mean u are happy but it means u are strong! just smile! :)

Sometimes we expect more from others bcos we'd be willing to do that much for them. Not everyone will appreciate what u do for them actually. U have to figure out who's worth your attention and who's just taking advantage on u. Be wise enough to let go when u should and strong enough to hold on when u must. Keep loving. And u will know who worth in the end. 

The hardest part about growing is letting go of what u were used to, and moving on with something u are not. So, apa apa pon we just accept what is, let go of what was and have faith in what could be. it is better than u keep sedih on thing tu. ya! moving on is not easy as that. Sometimes people cannot stand that u are moving on with your life and they will try to drag your past to catch up with u. Do not help them by acknowledging their behavior. Keep moving forward. No matter how u live, someone will be disappointed. So just live the truth and be sure u are not the one who is disappointed in the end.

As we know, we need to struggle to achieve great things. The harder the struggle is, the better the outcome becomes. Everything takes time. We cannot expect everything to magically fall into place by doing a righteous deed. U need to depend on Allah and trust what He has plan for u is the best u can have, for this life and here after. 

First thing u can do if u want to achieve something is Solah and Du'a. Sometimes we forget that we need Allah's help and strength to guide us. We think we can do it in our own without His help. We forget that the strength is from Allah. So, in everything we do, dont forget Him. We need to ask Allah to help us and guide us to the right path.

Second, stay away from negativity or something that Allah doesnt love. If u are around friends that make u sin and disappoint Allah, then u need to get them out of your life. Pernah dengar ni? 

Third, stay connected to the Quran. Read it everyday or if u can, memorize it. (im still struggle for this). Strive for the best. If u have Quran terjemahan is better, u can reflect the meanings and it will give u answers to your daily life complications. 

Forth, if u can wake up every night... u can perform at least 2 rakaat every night. try this. set alarm and wake up every night to perform your solat sunat at least 2 rakaat. every night. Bcos at this time u are very close to Allah. U ask anything  InshaAlah He will give u at the right time. do it every night and lama lama u akan terbiasa and u tak payah set alarm lagi, u akan terbangun sendiri. try this. 

Fifth, tawakkal. this is the last. U serah everything to Allah. U just do the best and then left everything to Him. 

that's all. i know im not good enough but im struggling to this too. everytime. this is what my mother do everyday. and i just influenced from her. Thanks to my mother. she is my great idol. 

Remember this... No guy worth your tears.... And the one who is, won't make u cry.

If he does, leave him! haha. kejam kan? tapi ya la.. u already know that he is not good enough for u then u tunggu apa lagi? just move on. It takes courage to do this but but theres no point to hold on things or somebody that dont deserve u and worst will make your life miserable in the end. just go. leave everything. u deserve to be happy. but pls pls pls.... dont change yourself just because of this lousy guy.  

biasa la.. sometimes we have to kiss the wrong frogs to meet our handsome prince. haha! so, dont be sad. And trust that it only happened because Allah wanted it happen to u. Kita as a hamba Allah jangan sesekali buruk sangka dengan takdir Allah, He always has a better plan for us. Redha with everything, and for the next step onwards, we will be more wise in choosing and analyzing what is best for us. xoxo

Yes. there will be moments in life when u want people to care for u and listen to how u feel. There will be moments when u have to choose in a very complex circumstances. There will be moments when u just want to cry for hours. Just cry if u must. Especially if u are a girl. U know what I mean. Let it all out and then stand back up again. Find Allah. Tak, bukan nak cakap time susah ja cari Allah. TAK. Everytime kita kena ingat Allah. But if u just feel down and sad, the first one u kena cari is HIM. Express everything to Him. Then, seperti ada miracle mesti lepas tu u become more stronger than before. And lebih tenang. 

Today is 1st January 2014. 4 years ago at this moment Im crying because I lost my one and only brother. He's suffering leukemia. After undergo few times chemotherapy, he's getting better. After a year the disease attacked him again. He was admitted at Penang hospital (where the place for critical case located). This time I know, he's time is near. The night before he pass away I sempat suap dia makan, bring him to the toilet and sempat salam and kiss him for the last time. when the visit time dah habis, i need to go and i know this is might be the last time i can see his face. I want to cry, but I tahan tahan tahan sampai rumah. 

In the morning, I got a phone call from my mom he is critical and dah tak sedar diri, only depends on machine pernafasan. at 3pm Allah takes him. That day i need to be strong to my mom and my family. everything are on me now. I know after this everything is under my responsibility. I need to be strong no matter what. Until today, I still can feel that he's still alive. He lent me his strength bcos when he still alive he is the strong man. He never cry. He never mad to anyone. He's very patience. He's the best brother and son also the best friend to anyone. I still remember, on the day he pass away, too many people are coming sampai penuh rumah and masjid. time pengbumian pon ramai gila turun nak kebumikan dia. I know everyone sangat terasa akan kehilangan arwah. No one can replace him because he's always the best man in my life. 

Al Fatihah to my late brother MOHD DINIE BIN AZMI.